What REALLY matters!
And I just won another small victory today 
I pulled my mother’s sleep couch together, I was able to get the table for breakfast ready, I even visited the “moms’ coffee” at the kindergarten of my KittyKat 
If you think all of that is easy and a certainty- think again!
A wonderful winter to all of you
Ava’
It is hard enough not to be able to walk and work as I was used to, because I had to have a surgery on my left hallux valgus done. It took place on Jan. 21st. So anybody who has heard of such things or even experienced it herself knows how painful and annoying it is.
But when you have to face a constantly bickering and biting person who explicably WANTED to help you through this is the the really hard part! Kids will be kids and my kids ar NOT trained to function like trained horses or dogs, and THIS person knew it all along, but now just any movement or sound seems to get her fired up like a rocket.
I think I am going to do my household and life alone again- the sooner, the better! Hopefully my doc will give me permission on wednesday- otherwise I am going mad- and not slightly!
Five years ago you have been just a couple of days old, we both were recovering from your birth. It was a quick but painful one, when I remember your screams at night correctly it was as scaring and painful for you as for me. There was so much we both had to learn, but we grew into it, into being mom and baby
When you did your first steps without my hand it was again frightning (please keep standing, be careful, watch that edge!) and hilarious at the same time (you just wobbled like the butler from “Dinner for One”).Then there was your first time on a bicycle (unfortunately I had to miss that because at that time I lay in the hospital with your freshly born little sister), but I saw the pics and you were so cute and fierce looking. Your next big step was when your first friend moved to Switzerland with her parents. You took it rather well and I was proud of you, proud ecause you told me your feelings, proud because you insisted on never forgetting her and I guess you are sticking to that promise, because you still talk about her from time to time. And finally, your biggest step in growing up- your first year in Kindergarten. Although you had a quite bumpy start full of tears you found quickly some new friends who will visit your party tomorrow.
My beloved J, you are 5 now and those first 5 years of your life just zoomed by. When I got to know of being pregnant with you I had the feeling that those upcoming nine months would last a lifetime, but when I look back now it seems like the beating of a butterfly’s wing! I just hope that te next years, until you are going to leave the shelter of my wings ^^, won’t rush by as fast as the last five, but somehow I know that this is a feeble wish, for somehow I am sure time will only speed up *sigh*.
Nevertheless, I love you and I am proud to be your mom, you are a wonderful child and a ray of sunlight
Mommy
What is it with children and men, by the way, and cleaning up after making a mess?
It seems not to be too difficult for kids and men of any age to mess up but cleaning? No way!
Too late, too tired, I will do it later- tomorrow… whatever!
it simply, plainly sucks!
Where is a Jeannie when one needs her?
I can’t stop wondering. Do all those *parents* think about what they are doing to their children?
It is one thing if you decide to get a seperation a divorce, but if your soon-to-be-ex is a good parent why would you want to deny him or her the children? Not even letting him or her visit them on a regular basis? Why would you give your own frustration and anger to your children? Why would you demonise your ex?
To vent your anger? To keep total control? To make him or her sweat and pay for whatever sins he or she did?
But, and this is the most important and biggest BUT ever!
There are some reasons I can totally and fullheartedly comprehend, ie. if you got beaten, if the kids are in danger of being mistreated or abused.
But under *normal* circumstances you HAVE TO SWALLOW YOUR HURT PRIDE for the child’s sake!
Just read and comment if you like
“Mom, I am taking grandpops’ binoculars with me. I need to show them to Simon, he is my best friend!”
- J just discovered some of the other boys of his age who moved in on our neighboorhood lately.-
“KittyKat, no, leave your brother some space! He is coming back, I promise!
No, mom, nothing serious, just the usual routine. Yes, we are in the garden, no… It’s okay. Well, where did we leave off our conversation? Ah, I see… Hmmm. yes saturday or monday.
J! It’s okay, if you don’t want to play with them, just come back. No, you don’t HAVE to stay. You can go if you want, have fun!
Ah yes mom, he didn’t want to play with those boys but he didn’t want to stay here either. Yes I know. Mom, please! Let’s change topics, I don’t want to argue. How are the treatments going? Oh, your crutches have been shortened, good.
Thanks, KittyKat, your (sand)coffee is just super delicious! Oh yes, gimme a cake, but not the spider cake;).
Hmm, mom, yes, okay, oh, by the way grandpops is here, I am going to fetch him, I am sure he’d love to talk to you! Hold on!”
So, riddle number one: What was that?
Riddle number two:
Why do boys of almost 5 rather ask the notorious WHY question instead of using their smart brains? Especially on things they already asked before and know already?
I am watching a reportage on ORF2: http://religion.orf.at/projekt03/tvradio/kreuz/kq090526_kinder_fr.htm
and at some points I get the urgent need to throw something at my TV, to yell at some of the smart people, especially one Bishop who, by his faith and church- law, is NOT allwed to have his own children (if he has them nontheless is another topic!)- can’t stop himself preaching about the traditional role of women and family *ack*. He drives me mad!
Isn’t it funny that a country in which women have to choose either being a mom or being a ‘full working member of the society’- hey, are we full time mothers not members of the society at all?- and a country in which it is not usual to give your children to a day nursery, has *failed* in the PISA studies?
Why is it possible for Danish or Swedish women for example to have both? To have children and be able to go to work? Why is it possible that in those countries even the daddies do more for the family and their kids than here in Felix Austria?
If the government and church and all those *important* people here in Austria like the traditional role of women then please provide us with the essential money to do so!
To call it a need of self fulfillment is outrageous! Most women I know would LOVE to have more children, but if you haven’t got a husband or partner who earns the salery of at least a ÖBB Manager or higher, it is simply IMPOSSIBLE to stay at home and raise the kids in a full time manner!
We HAVE to get back to work, 1. to keep the money in the family running and 2. not to be empoverished when we reach the retirement age!
And I am not speaking about the way people look at you whan you confess to love your kids and that you like to be at home, raising them and giving your best to turn them into sociable human beings. Then you are likely a ‘hausfrau’- a homebody without any real life interests, you are assumed to be quite stupid and dull.
And if you confess to be a working mom you easily get called names like ‘Rabenmutter’- an uncaring mother who has no interests and love for her children. But at least you have enough money to pay your therapist!
BUT sometimes it gets even worse for women who deliberately choose neither of those possibilities and DON’T have any kids at all, they are on one hand ‘full working memebers of society’ but at the other hand it is unforgiveable that they deny their *nature* its right to turn them into happily reproducing babymachines.
I REALLY thought emancipation had hit home these days, but if you take a little look closer you’ll see it hasn’t! Women always have to chose and it doesn’t seem to matter we can choose only WRONG!
This situation is driving me really mad. I’d like to do both, do a training as a massage therapist and maybe even do academic studies to become a psychologist, and raise my children- by being at home as often as possible.I would love to be able to work at home at all! And I love to give my kids into daycare, because I know that they get assisted in their development in the best possible ways. I see it as an addition to the work I do at home. Yes raising children is WORK! Hard work, dull of joy and full of frustration too!
But when I ask for a spot at the kindergarten for my KittyKat I only get a sarcastic headshake (because she is not 3 yet and unfortunately my town is too slow to get enough spots ready for 2 and half year olds!) and the useless question why I didn’t sign her up for a spot at a private institution where I would have to pay about 150€ a month for giving her away 5 days a week. Well then I could REALLY work 40 hrs a week, but not because I chose to, but because I have to, only to be able to pay for her kindergarten!
And another thing about being a mom bothers me. Mothers are not seen as full memebers of the society. We work at least 40 hrs a week- mostly much more than that!- but do we get paid adequately for our efforts? NO! Not even the time gets counted for our retirement! First we have to chose, and will always end up with having drawn the short straw and then when we have fulfilled our traditional role of being a wife and mother we also will have to fight with retirement poverty!
But at least our politicians and big head manager will have enough money to live an easy life…
Yes, beware of human fish! Children in a bathtube and foam, quite funny for them, kinda annoying for yourself!
Especially in combination with the following innocently spoken words- J’ words, to be precise:
“Moooohooooommm, I made some foam and bubbles. Only a LITTLE!”
*REDALERTREDALERT* “Everybody on their stations!” <- this should have been my reaction! But as naive as I have been I only smiled and answered:
“Okay BigBear, but don’t let KittyKat eat the bubbles!”
When I got to the bathroom, I SMELLED it, but still I was not concerned…. Not in the least concerned!
I step to the tub, look into my smiling kids eyes and then…. *JAWSMUSICON*
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!” *THUMP*<- that’s me hitting the floor in my thoughts!
BigBear spilled the WHOLE BIG BOTTLE of babyshampoo into the water, 250ml of expensive, because of its working “no more tears- formula”, babyshampoo filled the tube with wonderful soft and well smelling foam and my kids looked like snowmen….
I have to admit, I got angry. Not only because of the shampoo but more so because J simply accused his little sister of adding the soap to the water.
THAT is something I cannot tolerate! I am living my live with a few but STRICT principles, and the most important one is:
It doesn’t matter when you’ve made a mistake or broke something or did something (terribly) wrong as long as you’re taking the responsibility and live with the consequences!
Luca, I cannot stop wondering how so called mothers, family members and friends weren’t able to detect something!
All those cases make me kinda speechless from rage, from anger, sympathy for the children and sadness, bone-deep sadness!
Why is it possible to let those things happen?
Shouldn’t we all treat our children, our future with the purest love and respect?
Isn’t it our responsibility, our sworn duty to PROTECT our children from ANY possible harm?
Yes, I am going to write about me and my family again, and add fotos from time to time
The Knitting Dragon
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